The Hoe Toe Returns!

Ok all... I'm all sorts of grossed out and lost here.... I need advice! If anyone knows a podiatrists and wants to ask them HONESTLY if it's worth it... or just give me opinions, that would be awesome!

Here's the deal. I have a HUGE, like.... HUGE HUGE toe aversion. I don't like them touched, rubbed, sucked on, NOTHING. It takes literally ALL of my will power just to trim my own nails. Seriously, maybe I should ask for some Xanax from my doc!

In the past they have been REPEATEDLY traumatized.

-- When I was a kid, my left 2nd toe was stepped on and the nail went back into the skin.... OUCH!

-- I ran a 7 mile race when I was 16 and BOTH my big toenails popped off due to running pressure.

-- The year Ryan died, I broke and REBROKE both my pinky toes a total of 7 times in ONE YEAR. I kept stubbing them, dropping crap on them, etc.

-- Right after Ryan died, my brother jumped out and scared me when I was walking in the back door. I kicked the back of a stair and got a compression fracture in my left big toe, and the nail fell off.... AGAIN.

-- While it was growing back, a friend stepped on it with heals and thus started an INGROWN TOENAIL on my left big toe.

-- I dug it out myself for 1 and a half years!

-- If you remember this post, you will know I finally let John talk me into having the ingrown toenail cut out... still can't believe I was able to do it.

-- So it grew back, and started to become ingrown AGAIN. I made an appointment for a podiatrist.

HERE IN LIES THE PROBLEM.

Because my toe has been traumatized SO MUCH, it is obviously fungally infected. And due to all the times it's fallen off, been removed, etc... it is only attached half way down. The rest is all just hangin out. (When I trim it, I literally trim it half way down the toe). Then the week of my wedding, I (was intoxicated) and somehow managed to injure it AGAIN. I somehow scraped a chunk of the top skin off and jammed the nail BACK INTO THE TOE. So the podiatrist cut it out and we scheduled a surgery to have the whole thing removed and chemically burned so as to never regrow....

BUT. I'M. SCARED.

SHITLESS.

And here's a pic... sorry if it's gross! You see the pink part @ the bottom of the nail??? That and a little above it is all that's attached under the nail, and you see the sides? That's like an ingrown toenail just WAITING to happen!

So I have made an appointment for another podiatrist for a second opinion. You see, it's not bothering me too badly right now so it's hard for me to voluntarily cause myself pain. Maybe it would be different if it was ingrown right now.... it's a lot easier to embrace that pain, if it's SOLVING another painful issue....

Oh hell, I don't really know...

ADVICE PLEASE???????