Wednesday, January 14, 2009

I'll tell you "Why?"!

*Picture if you will.....*

Zak and I are finishing up our grocery shopping at the local Wal-Mart....


We see a check out with no one in line.... JACKPOT!


We stroll up all proud not having to wait in a long ass line (mind you, they don't really follow the policy of: "if there are 3 people in a checkout line we will open another one for you!").

The checkout lady looks about 40, has those amazingly long, bright red nails, with big white snowflakes painted on them, and is standing there just fidgeting with her name badge. (Trying to give you the real picture here!)

Me: "Would you mind not ringing me up until I put everything in my cart on the conveyor?" (Thinking to myself that most of them don't mind when I ask them because they get to just hang out for a second....)


Lady: "Huh? WHY?!?"


WHAT!?! WHY???


I'll tell you why....


1) Yes, I'm one of those crazy hippie people that buy and actually use the reusable bags all the time!


2) Cause your crappy Wal Mart bags SUCK!

3) Because I'm really just trying to ruin your day....


4) Because I LOVE feeling like I'm racing you when I'm bagging my own stuff and your ringing it in as fast as I'm putting it on the frickin' conveyor belt!


5) Because I saw a woman that looked like she needed to be fucked with, so I took this golden opportunity!


6) Because it's important that my son knows how to categorize his fruits/frozens/veggies/boxed goods/glass goods/meat.


7) Because I watch everything you ring in to make sure I get it for the right price! (I can't count on my fingers and toes all the times that it's been rung in wrong!)


And finally....


*This is the actual answer I gave her, truly showing my OCD self*

Me:"Because I like to stuff my own bags, cause the way you bag stuff sucks. And before I bag it, I like to put it in order (see above) so that when I get home with my 3 screaming kids and my niece in the car I don't have to think about it while I'm unloading all the damn groceries!"


Have a nice day!

3 comments:

ChiTown Girl said...

you are so freakin' hilarious!!!

-jd said...

Your anger at the everyday-average Walmart worker astounds me...and I love you for it.

p.s. I can't see shit!!!

-jd

Nat said...

and that is exactly why i read your blog!!
-Nat