Thursday, February 26, 2009

TMI Thursday: The Pooper-Scooper

Ok all... I have officially decided to join this brigade of craziness! Yes, I understand, I may lose a reader here or there but I whole heartedly enjoy other peeps TMI's and I finally said screw it... I'll embarrass the shiznot out of myself! So in honor of LiLu and many other's I will give my own TMI right here on my own blog!

Keeping in the spirit of my first TMI (guest blogging on -jd's blog)... I'm keeping it real.

Poop is so funny. Poop is a topic most wont discuss and many are embarrassed by. And wouldn't you know it... I've got PLENTY of stories in said topic. Aren't you just lucky???

Lets take it back a few years... back when I was young and free... I think I was about 11 or 12. You know those days.... you played outside until after dark. You didn't go home until your parents were yelling your names out the back door. You played hide and seek in the dark, and were basically a REAL KID.

Well my parents had a few rules from time to time... if we came in the house one too many times in a night... we got in hella trouble! We got the "If you come in this house ONE MORE TIME, you're staying in a going TO BED!" line... YIKES!!! No one wanted to be THAT kid! (side note: what the hell did my parents do while we were outside? I have a few ideas but really.... think about it!?!)

Anywhos... One night in particular, I had received this very line. I was HELL bent on not going inside to go to bed! My BFF at the time (coincidentally my next door neighbor) and I were hanging out with some neighbor boys and were having fun doing that crazy kid flirting, play fighting, basically being pre-adolescent.

Then it hit me.

I had to POOP.

Fudgesticks. What the hell am I going to do now?

You see, she had received the same line from her parents so I was screwed.

Then she had an idea... kind of went like this...

BFF: "Dana, why don't you just go real quick behind the trees in my back yard? My parents won't know! Just use some leaves or something like if we're camping!"

Me: "Really??? Jeesch, I dunno. But I do REAAALLLLYYY have to go and then we COULD stay out and play more... OK."

So I quietly marched behind her trees, squatted, and did the nasty. She, being the BFF that she was, stood guard for me... what a GREAT friend, right? ;-)

Fast forward bout 30-45 minutes... got the yell for inside time. So as I'm getting my PJ's on... the whole event gone from my mind... there's a knock at the back door.

Apparently, my BFF's parents saw us screwing around behind the tree and questioned her when she got inside.


Her mom was standing there.... with her... with a pooper scooper in hand.

Yes, folks, I had to poop scoop my own poop.
So could it get any more embarrassing you ask???
Why, yes. it. can.
Try scooping your own poop, in front of your BFF, her mom, her older (and way hot) brother, my parents, my brother, and the same boys that we were flirting with earlier.
If I had known what alcohol was at the time... I would have consumed mass quantities.
Now bring on the bashing! ;-)


LiLu said...

OMG. You truly do have the gift of TMI! I love it!

And I'm officially making "Fudgesticks" my new favorite word.

-jd said...

I can just see it in that flower dress/pant outfit I saw you wearing in that family video you forced me to watch and your really rocking coke bottle glasses...pooping behind a tree. Oh Dana...if only I were to know you way back then...we'd never be getting married now. Thank God for Serendipity.

I love you now though!

ChiTown Girl said...

bwah hahaha!!! Is it sad that this didn't even shock or disgust me? I was just like, "Yeah, that sounds like something Dana would do..." ;-)

Kristen said...

Fudgesticks are very appropriate for this story! good one!

Nina said...

Oh, wow. That is really bad! How terrible... You probably ruinde your parents buzz! lol.