Thursday, April 30, 2009

TMI Thursday: Karma is Nasty!

Happy Thursday! It's rainy and gloomy outside BUT fun times are a happenin' in blog land! Once again, tribute goes out to Lilu for our opportunity to share a little peak inside of all our shameful "happenings" and the genious idea to air our dirty laundry online!

I don't know how many of you have read any of my prior posts but I admitted to the world that I am an evil person before.... I LOVE LOVE LOVE! when people fall down. It's pee-in-your-pants hilarious I tell ya! I LIIIIVVVVEEE for America's Funniest Home Video's line of home movies where people eat the dirt!


Karma's a really nasty woman.

Sunday Night.

John and I were REALLY excited....

We took a little over night trip up to Iowa City to see one of our favorite artist, That 1 Guy. Plan was as follows: get there and hang with my little bro for a bit, go have a pre-party beer, go to the show, have more beer, go out afterwards, have a few more beers.

Sounds simple right? I mean, I'm talking about 2 people that to say the least, have taught their livers, stomachs, and brains well enough to handle beer. This was a simple plan. Easy to follow.... enjoyable... NOTHING out of the ordinary.

HOWEVER, this is how it REALLY went:

1) Get to Iowa City and go for the pre-party beer. Found a cool bar with TALL beers for 2 bucks! Woot! Uh-oh, only 15 minutes til we have to be at the show? CHUG BEER.... peace, we're out.

2) Get to show. Order another beer. Shit. They're out of Bud Light AND Coors Light. Ok, Miller High Life is on special! 1.75 for these little ditty's.... sweet, we'll have some of those!

***right about here I realize that we haven't eaten dinner yet, bad move. We order some cheese bread but I'm all ready full of beer sooooo..... I ate about 1 and 1/2 slices.... as in barely anything***

3) Friend Joe shows up... SHOT TIME! Jaeger Bombs! Just one.

4) Continue to drink beer and enjoy show. Emma shows up. SHOT TIME! Red Headed Sluts... Yummo!

***Now this is were events get really fuzzy. I'm "remembering" based on John's wonderful accounts of what happened the rest of the night***

5) Show ends and I have this bright idea to go out more! Get to another bar, SHOT TIME! (however this time i don't have the slightest of what I ordered.... ummm... maybe I didn't need this shot?)

6) (The part we've all been waiting for) We leave the bar and start walking back to the car (NO, I wasn't driving.... John was :) It's raining.... I lost my flip-flops somewhere at the last bar, and my jacket.... so I start to run ahead of everyone in the parking garage.... wearing a LONG BLACK SKIRT.

Picture if you will.... John and my hommies come around the parking garage corner to see my wet, smelly, drunk ass SPRAWLED OUT ON THE GROUND.... kinda in the fashion of a chalk outline.

Apparently I had tripped myself on my own skirt.

So as John gets closer to me.... he realizes... I'M TALKING TO THE GROUND.

"I jeerst cont buleeeeeeve I FELL. I think we go home guys, drunk, I'm drunk." (at least that's how I picture my SPEECH in my head)

As John is helping me to my feet....



(I took the liberty of enhancing this pic just to show you all how DANGEROUS it is to drink and run... barefoot... in the rain)

Yup. I'm a loser. I somehow lost my tolerance for that night. I don't think I have EVER been that drunk before. I don't even know HOW I GOT THAT WAY REALLY! I have been known to put a few back in my days and holy moly.... you'd of thought I was a NEWBIE!!!!

I won't mention how half my face was black with parking garage dirt.... or how I apparently started to cry a little then swore up and down I was fine.... or that John had to DRESS ME for bed... and that I kept going outside and sitting in a puddle.... or that I managed to stay up for another couple of hours this way...

I also figure that if I tell all of you this.... maybe I'll embarrass myself enough to NOT let this happen again :)


-jd said...

As the one that can remember the night, let me just tell you that this doesn't even begin to tell you all of the ways in which Dana was a genious that night.

Oh and Dana, you still owe me a jacket and new T-shirt :)

Cassie said...

Holy hell that is funny! I've definitely had incidents like that before (think grassy area beside the McDonalds drive-thru. I jumped out of the car while they were ordering food for my drunk ass.)

LiLu said...

I've drunk-busted everywhere else on my body, but I don't think I've gotten my face yet...

My day will come...

Happy TMIT!

Casey said...

Well It's about time you fall! I mean after all those nights when I've fallen and you have laughed so hard you've cried, after all the bruises and then waking up saying 'Dana what happened?' and you can't tell me because you're laughing so hard you can't talk! I'm so sorry I wasn't there to witness this :) I love ya girl, and yes karma is nasty!