TMI Thursday: Karma is Nasty!

Happy Thursday! It's rainy and gloomy outside BUT fun times are a happenin' in blog land! Once again, tribute goes out to Lilu for our opportunity to share a little peak inside of all our shameful "happenings" and the genious idea to air our dirty laundry online!

I don't know how many of you have read any of my prior posts but I admitted to the world that I am an evil person before.... I LOVE LOVE LOVE! when people fall down. It's pee-in-your-pants hilarious I tell ya! I LIIIIVVVVEEE for America's Funniest Home Video's line of home movies where people eat the dirt!

BUT!

Karma's a really nasty woman.

Sunday Night.

John and I were REALLY excited....

We took a little over night trip up to Iowa City to see one of our favorite artist, That 1 Guy. Plan was as follows: get there and hang with my little bro for a bit, go have a pre-party beer, go to the show, have more beer, go out afterwards, have a few more beers.

Sounds simple right? I mean, I'm talking about 2 people that to say the least, have taught their livers, stomachs, and brains well enough to handle beer. This was a simple plan. Easy to follow.... enjoyable... NOTHING out of the ordinary.

HOWEVER, this is how it REALLY went:

1) Get to Iowa City and go for the pre-party beer. Found a cool bar with TALL beers for 2 bucks! Woot! Uh-oh, only 15 minutes til we have to be at the show? CHUG BEER.... peace, we're out.

2) Get to show. Order another beer. Shit. They're out of Bud Light AND Coors Light. Ok, Miller High Life is on special! 1.75 for these little ditty's.... sweet, we'll have some of those!

***right about here I realize that we haven't eaten dinner yet, bad move. We order some cheese bread but I'm all ready full of beer sooooo..... I ate about 1 and 1/2 slices.... as in barely anything***

3) Friend Joe shows up... SHOT TIME! Jaeger Bombs! Just one.

4) Continue to drink beer and enjoy show. Emma shows up. SHOT TIME! Red Headed Sluts... Yummo!

***Now this is were events get really fuzzy. I'm "remembering" based on John's wonderful accounts of what happened the rest of the night***

5) Show ends and I have this bright idea to go out more! Get to another bar, SHOT TIME! (however this time i don't have the slightest of what I ordered.... ummm... maybe I didn't need this shot?)

6) (The part we've all been waiting for) We leave the bar and start walking back to the car (NO, I wasn't driving.... John was :) It's raining.... I lost my flip-flops somewhere at the last bar, and my jacket.... so I start to run ahead of everyone in the parking garage.... wearing a LONG BLACK SKIRT.

Picture if you will.... John and my hommies come around the parking garage corner to see my wet, smelly, drunk ass SPRAWLED OUT ON THE GROUND.... kinda in the fashion of a chalk outline.

Apparently I had tripped myself on my own skirt.

So as John gets closer to me.... he realizes... I'M TALKING TO THE GROUND.

"I jeerst cont buleeeeeeve I FELL. I think we go home guys, drunk, I'm drunk." (at least that's how I picture my SPEECH in my head)

As John is helping me to my feet....

I FALL AGAIN.

ON MY FACE.

(I took the liberty of enhancing this pic just to show you all how DANGEROUS it is to drink and run... barefoot... in the rain)

Yup. I'm a loser. I somehow lost my tolerance for that night. I don't think I have EVER been that drunk before. I don't even know HOW I GOT THAT WAY REALLY! I have been known to put a few back in my days and holy moly.... you'd of thought I was a NEWBIE!!!!

I won't mention how half my face was black with parking garage dirt.... or how I apparently started to cry a little then swore up and down I was fine.... or that John had to DRESS ME for bed... and that I kept going outside and sitting in a puddle.... or that I managed to stay up for another couple of hours this way...

WTF!?!?!

I also figure that if I tell all of you this.... maybe I'll embarrass myself enough to NOT let this happen again :)

Why Dirt is Good....

• You know... I don't normally do "book reviews" but I happened to check this book out at the library and it is a GREAT book. I'm almost voting it to be a book distributed to new moms and dads everywhere when their children are born.

• What book is this you may ask? It's "Why Dirt is Good" by Mary Ruebush, PhD.

• Personally, I have always advocated for my children in terms of dirt, and by dirt, I mean germs. It's nice to see it all summed up very nicely in an "easy reader" book for the average person. It's not a medical book, it's not a lab book, and it's not a medical journal. It's a book that lays it all out for you and answers a lot of questions for you. The beginning of it is a bit of scientific info (transalation= boring) about the immune system but once you get beyond that.... it's excellent.

• Some highlights from the book:

• 1. The author explains that building immunity starts right from conception, and kick starts at birth. it is vital for the fetus to pass through the birth canal for it's first exposure to germs. Hence, unnecessary C-sections should be avoided at all costs.

• 2. The author advocates for breastfeeding. Breastfeeding helps to build infant immunity by passing along maternal antibodies. Breastfeeding reduces diarrheal infections, ear infections, respiratory infections, atopic dermatitis, and most significantly, allergies.

• 3. It explains the "Hygiene hypothesis".... which essentially means that the MORE exposure to germs that a young child has, the more exercise their immune system gets, and the healthier they will be in the long run.

• 4. Parents: STOP USING ANTIBACTERIAL SOAPS AND HAND SANITIZER AS IF ITS A MIRACLE CURE FOR ALL. All this does is make the germs we encounter in everyday life become "superbugs".... which means they will evolve to live beyond all our sanitizing craziness. If you question this.... then ask yourself how your child still gets sick if you use these sanitizing methods?

• 5. STOP USING ANTIBIOTICS. Antibiotics are wonderful when used in the correct manner. However over use of them creates more "superbugs" and makes a human being all the more sick from bacterial resistance to medications. If you care to argue this point.... then do some reading and research on MRSA and CA-MRSA. It used to be a simple staph infection, curable by methicillin. Now it's resistant to Methicillin. (Hence MRSA). It used to be seen in hospitals only, now it's in the community (Hence CA-MRSA). Good thing we still have some drugs to treat this infection with but guess what? It got smarter... There is a form of Staph now (called VRSA) that is stronger then even our strongest antibiotic we can throw at it....

• What if all infections were to evolve this way? Scary thought huh?

• *Personal note: I used to run to the doctor for every little thing... including sinus infections. Well, over time, I have developed a severe allergy to all Penicillin medications and most recently all Sulfa medications. I have since stopped this. I have taken so many antibiotics that I now have a limited choice of them available for me. And if I ever become HONESTLY and SERIOUSLY sick.... I want them to work.

• 6. STOP TAKING OTC MEDICATIONS. Such things as Sudafed, Claritin, Cough meds, etc. only mask the symptoms, enabling us to go out and infect others with our germs. This is unhealthy! Coughs, runny noses, fevers, watery eyes, this is all our bodies way of fighting off whatever is bothering us. The author is very good at explaining... LET MOTHER NATURE WORK IT'S OWN MAGIC. Stay at home, rest, let your body cough out the germs, burn them up with fever, blow them out with snot. These are all excellent ways to avoid getting even more sick!

• 7. Vaccinations are good. It's great to have an author point out facts supporting the fact that children should be vaccinated. She refutes most of the myths surrounding vaccinations (as in MMR and autism or vaccinations vs. side effects). There are studies that prove this as well. Here's one example:

• * In the past, the rate of high fever side effect with the pertussis vaccination was 1 in 330. Well some countries didn't like this rate so Japan, England, Sweden and others dropped this vaccination. Well, in Japan, here's what happened: When the vaccination was being GIVEN, there were still 400 cases of pertussis and 10 deaths. After it was stopped, there was 13,000 cases of pertussis and 113 deaths. Hmmmm.... Japan seemingly went back to making this vaccination available... I would much rather fight a night of high fever with my child then have him be part of this statistic.

• 8. And finally the author says to ask yourself when you or your child is sick, "WHAT WOULD MOTHER NATURE DO?" That's a pretty simple question considering we have an AWESOME immune system.

• I know, I know, that was probably long and boring...

• But I REALLY enjoyed this book.

• Yes, we do have modern medicine for a reason though. I believe in modern medicine. Yes, it can harm us, but it can also help us.... I guess it's more a matter of CHOOSING between the times it's NEEDED, and the times that it's not. Yes, I still give my children cough medicine... not during the day though, only at night when I believe sleep is more important to healing. Yes, i do give my children Ibuprofen for fevers, but usually not until the fever is above 102. Fever is a good thing. Yes, i still take Claritin for my own allergies, mostly when I need to function. I have however gotten myself down from taking it almost daily in the spring to maybe once every couple of weeks. I am currently battling a sinus infection ON MY OWN. No antibiotics and no Sudafed. And guess what? I've been resting more and blowing my nose every 5 minutes but over the course of 4 days, I DO feel better.... and more importantly I feel better that I have fought it on my own... WITH OUT ANTIBIOTICS! High five immune system!

• Okay... off the soapbox now... I need to finish giving my house it's spring enema... but guess what? I'm not using chemicals... I'm using vinegar, water, and essential oils. And guess what else... I probably won't wash my hands as much as I should! ;-)

TMI Thursday: My Secret Love

Hello my lovers...

Yep, it's that day again!

Thank you to Lilu for her genious plot to have us all share a little bit of dirt on ourselves or someone else every Thursday!

My TMI this week is a little bit different this time tho I suppose... I'm gonna tell you all a little secret about me...

I've kind of "come out of the closet" about it lately...

I told John... I told Sarah... it's a slow process but it's always good to let those little secrets out sometimes....

I'm sure I may even lose a few friends to this little TMI (this may be one of those deal breakers I just read about ;-) but I'm ok with that.....)

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• I LIKE BRITNEY SPEARS.

• Seriously.

• I know all the words to almost every song she's ever done.

• When I'm getting ready to go out.... I put Britney on my play list.

• I have oodles of reasons too, here's 5:

• 1. The woman can dance. I'm sorry but if you can move like Janet Jackson or Madonna... you've got some skills. Some of you may disagree but I'm holding strong here.

• 2. The woman has sex appeal, and she's not afraid to let you know. Yes, I raise children.... scary huh? But guess what? I'm still a woman. I have sex appeal. I'm in touch with this aspect of being an adult. There is nothing wrong with a woman having a sexual side....

• 3. She is a GREAT example of child stars gone bad.... PARENTS PAY ATTENTION. You want your child to be a star? Be a model? Be a singer? Watch her past ten years and then ask yourself again how REALLY important it is to you that your child be that kind of person....

• 4. I LOVE it when people go f*ing nuts. In public no less.... yes, hers was a bit extreme... (hence this gorgeous pic....)

• I can't say I've ever wanted to shave my head but there's times I've went nuts under the small amounts of pressure I suffer in everyday life... now imagine her stress? Might lead to a drastic break you think?

• 5. I like the HUMAN side to her... as in body like. Hello?????
  
• She popped out a few kids and turned into a "real size"! AND STILL PERFORMED! Hi five!

Ok....

Let the bashing begin... I'm strong. I can take it. :-)

Meanwhile...

I'm gonna go put on some Britney and dance around in my underwear while cleaning the house! (Well ok.... I'm totally not gonna do the underwear thing.... that was more like my teeny bopper years.... but I did just listen to her while I was writing this.... GO BRITNEY!)

Another "Victim" of my house...

• Soooo....

• I'm sure you all remember my little diddy about how I think my house is haunted and crazy shit always happens right??? (Click and read if you want :-)

• Well... it's happened yet again!

• I live on a pretty busy street...

• I ALWAYS tell peeps that are turning RIGHT into my driveway that they have to put on their turn signal pretty far back and slow down VERY slowly... cause the traffic going 60 mph behind them SOMETIMES doesn't always see the car turning in front of them!

• I mean ALMOST TO A COMPLETE STOP PEOPLE.

• If not...

• This is what could happen to the car behind you:

• Yep... This just happened bout 30 minutes ago. Someone was turning into my neighbors driveway and this man didn't see it so instead of hitting the car, he veered up off the road... hit the neighbor's bushes and then the embankment between our driveways, bounced back and now he's stuck. There's also a fuel leak under the truck now they think....

• My house STRIKES AGAIN!

Composting.... FINALLY!!!

Hey all!

Easter Weekend was a LONG weekend! (VERY long!) However we got a lot of stuff accomplished too!

John has recently discovered his handy man side.... and I have to tell you... it's pretty sexy ;-) BUT he promised me a compost bin last fall and finally we got it all figured out this spring!

So he spent time at work researching this little diddy and lo and behold... his homemade compost tumbler!

It's almost gardening time!!!!! Yippeeeee!!!! :-)

TMI THURSDAY: The Titty Twister

Hey hey!!!

I ACTUALLY have a TMI for today folks! I thought about it on tuesday and had to work really hard to remember it all the way until today but.... tah tah dah! I did! :-)

And once again, thank you Lilu for the lovely opportunity to embarass the hell out of ourselves :-)

Lets take it back a little bit again.... kinda around 16 me thinks.

I was such an "Artsy" person back in my teeny bopper years... I loved body art especially... By the time I was 16 I had done a few different things.

1) I had pierced my own belly button. (It was superficial and actually ripped out on a button of my jeans... OUCH! right?)

2) I had my tongue pierced. (which was also bad... tried pulling it back in with the needle thru it... that's dumb... burst a blood vessel, tip of my tongue turned black, it swelled, and when I took it out that night... lots of acky puss!)

3) I had my lift nipple pierced.

Now about that third one.

Really, it's not that bad.... apparently (here's a small TMI with the big one) I don't have very many nerve endings in my nipples like the average girl... it was like piercing my ears. swear it. ask any person to have come across my nipples.... sorry, not a "hot" play area for me... :-)

SOOOOOO.... this piercing was GREAT! Never really had problems with it at all! I had a pretty little left booby and was all sorts of proud of it.

However, I was still displeased at the fact that I had NEVER changed my jewelry some 6 months later. After all, all the cool people were doing it. Why couldn't I???

One night close to bedtime, I set about this task. I had a similar gauged barbell with cool colored balls on the end and a set of needle nose pliers all ready to go. I took a hot shower, cleaned the cool nipple and got ready.

I first used the pliers to stretch the ring out so the ball would fall out.... worked well, came out nice and smooth.

Went to put the barbell in and AAAAAGGGGHHHHH.... SHIT HURT!!!! Apparently I DO have nerve endings in my nip nips and that little screw part that you screw the ball back on to???? HURT LIKE A MOTHA!

K. I suck. Nice fail. So I hung my tail between my legs and slipped the ring back in. I'm placing the ball, grab my needle nose pliers, start squeezing the ring back together to clamp the ball....

And OOPS. BIIIIIIIGGGGG SLIIIIPPPPP! Mother trucker, son of a whoo whoo dilly, bad mama jama, holy poop!

Yeah. Second fail.

Note to self: If you squeeze the ring too hard with pliers, it turns into this:
My poor nipple has never recovered.

*I even pierced it again a few years ago and it was never the same... I'm thinkin it might b permanently damaged with scar tissue*

This is my life...

Yes, yes, yes.... still here! Just busy...

And yes, I still said that.... even tho a fellow blogger I stalk...errrr read up on... once said that we should NEVER apologize for NOT posting because that just means... *GASP*... we have a life!

Speaking of having a life... it's been hectic lately... and in the spirit of Lilu, this is the shizzzzzz my fiance says to me (sends to me, makes actions at me, etc.)

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• We had an off day yesterday...
• So today I get an email card from my lova....

• "Message: I love your boobies!"

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• Dana: You know, I've been gaining weight lately. I think I need to go on a diet....

• John: If you go on a diet, do you lose weight in your boobs?

• Dana: Yeah. A little bit, not a lot but some.

• John: I think your PERFECT just the way you are! (as he reaches for a handful... ;-)

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• John: DANA!!!! Hurry up!! Come in the living room! I have to show you something!!!

• Dana: JESUS CHRIST! Hold on a sec... I'm coming!

• John: Thats what she said!!!.................................. No seriously!! Get in here!!!

• (And as I walk into the living room)

• John: SO I was playing around with this weather thing on the Wii... and I found this... COCKBURN TOWN!!!

• Dana: You found Cockburn town?????

• John: Yeah.... and we're NOT going there on our honeymoon!

(Real place... look it up!)

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• Dana: Honey, I think you've lost more hair since we've been dating....

• John: Hey Dana, Fuck your mouth.

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• And this one is the kicker:

• SKEET

• (is that even how you spell it????)

• I swear, the man says this word like FIFTEEN times a day! :-)

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• Well, thats it for today! I'm sure I've got tons of post I've been wanting to write but I've forgotten most of them by now... they usually come to me when I've had a few beers... I get all excited, then I totally wake up the next morning and forget!

• Have a great friday everyone!!!! Goin bridesmaid dress shopping tonight! Woot!

:-)